Ipod Shuffle Challenge
by LOSTBUCKET
Summary: Some DA/Carlos drabbles based on the first 10 songs that came up on my phone. More angsty/real than fluffy or romantic.


Some DA/Carlos drabbles based on the first 10 songs that came up on my phone. I wrote them while listening to the songs and also sleep deprived, so I hope they make sense! These span from grade 6 to 4th year of uni, and some take place within my massive unfinished fic about DA studying abroad in Australia (which will be spoiled now but it's cool, I'll probably never finish!) The number in brackets is the chronological they fit in. I imagine DA's birthday is late May and Carlos' is late July.

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><p>1. POMPEII - BASTILLE (7)<p>

DA got out of the passenger seat of her mum's Mercedes. She was finally home. She'd left to study in Australia almost exactly one year ago. She'd turned 21 just a month ago and so much had happened since then.

Her house still stood two stories tall with pristine shutters and shrubs decorating the brick. Her street looked the same, flowers in bloom and people out and about. The trees were the same. Everything was the same.

She took a breath and closed her eyes. It almost felt like nothing was different. She even felt the same for a few moments. Like that entire year hadn't happened. Like she hadn't grown up and had her fun or done all that work. She was right back here again.

She looked down the road and could see Carlos' driveway. Her heart skipped a beat. Nothing could ever be the same with them now. No matter how much she closed her eyes and tried to pretend nothing had happened. Every time she thought about him now her mind went straight to regret and confusion and embarrassment. She should be remembering their road trip – the nights spent curled up on top of the camper, the laughing and teasing on so many beaches. She almost smiled when she forced herself to think about the good.

Her mum called her, snapping her out of her gaze. They dragged her bags back into the house, which smelled the same as before. It looked the same. Not a single thing out of place.

DA sighed. Nothing had changed in 12 months. But she knew _everything_ had changed. She was not the same person as she was before she left.

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><p>2. BRAND NEW DAY - JOSHUA RADIN (2)<p>

It was the middle of summer, the kind of summer that had flown by in memories that read like a montage in a feel-good flick. They were going into grade 9 next September. DA, Wanda, Phoebe, and Keesha had been spending as much time together as they could. Talking about high school, what they would wear, how they would stay friends, all the things they would get to do like drive cars and buy alcohol and have boyfriends.

They were all asleep in Wanda's backyard, it had been a girls-only party that Carlos, Ralphie, and Tim had crashed yesterday after dinner. They had all been sitting around the pool in bikinis talking about anything and everything when the boys had waltzed through the sliding door and jumped into the pool.

"Nobody invited you!" DA shrieked, covering herself with a towel.

"Open invitation, right Wan?" Carlos blew a spout of water at them through the pool noodle.

Wanda rolled her eyes. "He's_ technically _right," She shrugged. "We're talking about our periods! And pubic hair!"

"Ew!" The boys groaned collectively.

"I have my period right now, I'm going to bleed all over the pool." Wanda said and jumped in, sending the boys screaming and running out of the pool.

DA wanted to be annoyed, but somehow they had all ended up laughing. They spent the whole night lounging outside in Wanda's 5-person tent. It was a little sentimental. Carlos and Ralphie were snickering to themselves, too cool for all this emotion. They played truth or dare. They were finally old enough to do semi-scandalous dares, mostly involved naked swimming. The girls shrieked and all pretended to cover their eyes as the boys jumped in. Keesha and Carlos were the first of any of them to kiss on the lips – a dare posed by Ralphie.

DA swallowed, her girlfriends knew about her crush on Carlos. They knew it was there, but they also knew she was massively ashamed of it and wanted nothing more than it to go away. They all slept smushed and crumpled in the tent.

DA woke first and crept through the dewy grass into the house to pee. She had woken with a strange and happy sensation. She was thinking about high school, and the life and school year ahead of her, and Carlos and Keesha kissing. Maybe that was what she needed to see. She knew Carlos was immature and annoying and nothing like the mature man she was going to marry. She shrieked when she left the bathroom as Carlos stood in the kitchen eating right from the fridge. She rolled her eyes.

"That's really rude." She crossed her arms.

"Morning sunshine," He smiled and tossed her a can of whipped cream. "Breakfast?"

"Whipped cream for breakfast? You're so gross!"

He shrugged and caught the can she tossed back. He sprayed it right into his mouth and DA shook her head. "Oh my god, you're disgusting."

"You're pretty."

DA straightened her shoulders and narrowed her eyes. He was _so_ annoying. She knew just a few months ago a stupid compliment from nowhere would have made her giddy and do something embarrassing. _He_ probably knew that too. But she just rolled her eyes. "Shut up, Carlos."

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><p>3. CRAVE YOU - FLIGHT FACILITIES FEAT. GISELLE (5)<p>

It was their last night Byron Bay, their last club night for at least a week. She was 21 as of yesterday. She had a feeling she'd never had about Carlos before. It was probably the drinks. She didn't like drinking, but she felt like it this night, it was her birthday and she felt like going crazy. It had been a whirlwind two weeks on the beach with Carlos, driving, laughing, flirting, swimming. Sometimes when they were swimming DA forgot that her other friends were here. She forgot they were in Australia. She forgot everything. She only knew their skin was showing and they were close, they touched, they laughed, they did everything she had missed so much.

Carlos wasn't making any moves. She hadn't expected him to, it's not like they were realistically going to be able to _do_ anything, let alone actually be together. DA had been trying _not_ to flirt with him, she didn't want it to be obvious. These crazy feelings she was having about him could no longer be attributed to teenage hormones or puberty. These were _feelings_ feelings. Sexual feelings. Feelings like when she saw him dancing her entire body wanted him.

DA tried her hardest that night, wearing her hair down like she hardly ever did. She wore her favourite black dress. This outfit had gotten her into the bed of many Australians previously, if Carlos was into her in the way everybody said he was, she hoped – desperately – that he would do something to make it obvious to her tonight.

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><p>4. OVER &amp; OVER - SMALLPOOLS (4)<p>

Looking back, DA knew that this night would be one to remember. She and Carlos were high and dancing in her room like idiots. The music was loud and she was laughing and giggling as she always did when she got high. It was especially fun because Carlos was there, they _were_ studying for finals. They were about to graduate high school. He was kind of bummed because his girlfriend had already taken her finals and moved out west with her family and suggested they smoke his stash of weed and DA was actually incredibly on board with the idea. She was in a I-can-do-anything kind of mood.

Carlos didn't seemed very bummed about anything as he hopped and moved his hips around her room. DA's mind was swirling – she had her second exam on Monday and it was Saturday night and she wasn't even _trying_ to study anymore.

"DA!" Carlos said, shaking his shoulders, "Stop thinking about school," He grabbed her hands and she began spinning. She closed her eyes and they tumbled to the ground. The music was so bouncy and fun all she could do was laugh. Carlos put the joint to her lips, as she didn't like holding it for fear of getting burnt.

She exhaled and leaned against her bed, then covered her mouth and hurried to the window.

"My parents will _smell_!" She said, giggling, feeling not as worried as she should have been.

"They're not even here, DA!" Carlos said, hopping up and spreading his arms to the ceiling.

It felt like hours, but they went in slow motion. They laughed about nothing, taking selfies, making prank calls, dancing. It was so nice to feel free and like children again. It was vaguely flirty, DA felt like kissing him, but not really. She just _felt_. Smoking with Carlos was always a good time.

Carlos brought out the best in her, still, even after four years of emotions and puberty and girlfriends and all that crap, they had still managed to be friends. It was better when he had a girlfriend, actually, there was no unsure feelings, there was nobody saying "DA and Carlos" as if they were an unbreakable entity. She liked being friends with Carlos.

Then she saw lights flash through the blinds and she realized her parents were home earlier than expected. It seemed like only seconds after that her bedroom door opened and her parents – who already disliked Carlos – were glaring at them.

DA looked down and realized she was only wearing a bra and skirt – how did that happen? They were both semi-collapsed on her floor, clothes and papers all around them. DA burst out laughing and scrambled to put on a shirt. How did she end up with Carlos' sweater? She was _so_ high.

Carlos took her hand and they stood up. She covered her mouth and gazed at her parents, they were yelling at them, her dad inching forward ready to yank Carlos away and call the cops – but DA couldn't hear them. Carlos turned off the music and she leaned over to him and whispered.

"Let's jump out the window," She whispered.

Carlos looked at her with raised eyebrows and a wide, dopey grin. He said something stupid but she giggled and they darted to the window.

She slid off her little balcony onto the garage roof right into Carlos' arms, who had gone first.

"Don't look up my skirt!"

"Too late!"

They laughed as they climbed down. Everything was happening so fast. How did they get out the window without her dad grabbing one of them? Her parents were looking out the window at them, her mum was crying. DA fell into his arms and they laughed their way down the street to Carlos' house. DA felt so exhilarated. Her parents were awful. Horrible. Such terrible people. They put so much pressure on her. They hated Carlos. They hated everything. She'd never let them see her as anything other than exactly what they wanted.

Carlos had his arm slung over her shoulder and she kissed his cheek, her own cheeks hurting from smiling so much the whole night. This all felt like a perfect, reckless dream that she never, ever wanted to wake up from.

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><p>5. MAPS - HEY OCEAN! (6)<p>

DA felt like the days driving through the small towns up the east coast of Australia were merging into one. The past three nights DA, Wanda, Carlos, Pheebs, Keesha, and Ralphie had camped, their camper had enough beds for them all tripling up, but she and Carlos had taken to sleeping on the roof in a mesh tent and stargazing like they used to when they were kids. It was just what she needed – it wasn't explicitly romantic. But it was just quiet time for them. It was familiar. They talked and flirted, but never anything more. It was so nice to be friends together again and not just talking on Skype every Monday night (Monday morning for Carlos)

They spent the days on the beach, playing volleyball, swimming, laying in the sun, DA's hair and skin were more sunkissed than the entire past 10 months she'd been here. They spent nights at markets, watching fire dancers, eating ice cream and iced coffee for dinner, they built fires and sat around drinking. Sometimes strangers from other campsites would join them, they talked about everything around that fire. They'd walked the harbour bridge the day after her friends had arrived to visit her.

Carlos was the only other one with an international license so he and DA were the only ones driving. She would glance over at him every now and then when she was driving, he kept a very detailed map of where they were driving. He took pictures of her constantly when she wasn't looking – it was incredibly annoying. He was so annoying in the most confusing way, even his stupid terrible jokes were sometimes attractive.

"When you're old you'll want to remember how great you looked!"

They'd discovered nude beaches, gone on hikes, gone skydiving – They were only half way through their trip so far and DA couldn't remember ever feeling so exhilaratingly happy.

But the longer they all spent there on vacation from life, the longer DA had to realize just how much she'd missed being around him.

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><p>6. FORGIVE YOU - KELLY CLARKSON (8)<p>

DA had been so worried about Carlos visiting his mum's family in Venezuela. She'd heard nothing but bad news, riots, clashes, protests. He was right there in Caracas where it was all happening. She was sick with worry.

She hadn't talked to him one-on-one since she'd got back from Australia. She had been actively avoiding him and any activity with any of her friends that he might be there for. She'd only gone to his 21st birthday party night out for like an hour. It had been such a horrible summer. Then last week he went to Venezuela and she'd had an emotional sleepover with Pheebs and Wanda.

It had been entirely her fault, really. She kissed him. She kissed him first every time. She knew better – even in Australia she knew better. She knew it wasn't real life. _He_ should have known. When she thought about it, their first kiss had been on top of the camper. It gave her shivers. It wasn't just the kiss, it was the feeling. It was the atmosphere, the entire galaxy stretched out in front of them.

How could she have been so scared of a little kiss? So she kissed him. It was the best kiss she'd ever had. Full of passion, feeling ,touching, they'd moved quickly through the delicacy and went straight to exploring skin with hands. It had been years in the making. She knew if they weren't on a roof with their friends right underneath them, they would have gone all the way right then.

They kissed again on the beach, snuggled together in sleeping bags by the fire.

It was far from her first time when they actually had sex at her house in Melbourne. She'd been with plenty – maybe too many – one night stands during her time at school there. That's what bothered her about it. Carlos was just another one of those boys who wanted her body. She was just a body to him, as she'd been just a body for so many others.

But it was _her_ fault. She wanted it! She didn't think she'd ever been completely over him and it had just been so long since she'd seen him.

DA sighed, walking her dog along the path in the woods behind her house. It was over now. It had happened. There was no way to undo it. They'd tried. They couldn't be together. She'd told him the morning after that she _needed_ him to be her friend. She didn't need anything else to worry about. They had to just forget it. Carlos hadn't said much, but he nodded.

Then they sort of just stopped talking. Carlos seemed really good at forgetting it ever happened. It was like she was nothing. They hadn't been friends all summer.

Her dog pulled on the leash and DA looked up from her daze to see a familiar chocolate lab running towards them with no leash. Carlos' dog greeted her happily, followed by a tall jogging figure.

"Carlos?" DA said, her stomach twisted, "I thought you were in Venezuela! When did you get back?"

That was the most she'd said to him in weeks.

"Two days ago," He said, grabbing his dog's leash and they slowly began to walk in the direction from which he'd just come.

"I was really worried," She said quietly, "What was it like?"

He shrugged, "You know, guns, riot police, the usual."

DA rolled her eyes. "Seriously."

Carlos shrugged again. "I've never seen anything so scary … but I wish I could have stayed, you know? Protested with them …" he trailed off and they walked in silence for a while. "We had to leave early."

"I'm so glad you're safe. Is your family okay?"

He nodded then shrugged, "They're kinda rich, they've got a house they can go to. I'm very connected," He grinned, "But my cousins are protesting, I don't know …" He looked at the ground for a while. "Are you still coming to Brazil for Christmas?" He turned to look at her and she smiled, her heart warming. They had planned that in Australia one night at a bar when she was sober. She'd told him she won a co-op at the University of Santiago in Chile and he had been so excited for her to visit.

"Am I still invited?"

"Yeah." He said as if it were obvious. "You should come. I told them all you're coming already. It's seriously the most amazing place."

DA nodded, "What's so amazing about it?"

Carlos leaned back as if she'd hurt him and got very animated as he talked. "Everything. Pelotas is incredible. There's so much culture, and so much to do, and it's gorgeous, the beaches are so nice, we have a lagoon beach and an ocean beach that nobody ever goes to, but it's my favourite. We have to go there. And the _music_ … and my family, of course. And there's lots of day trips, like to the jungle or to Uruguay to go zip lining, or even Argentina."

"A day trip to Argentina?"

"A weekend trip," He shrugged. "To see the Tango."

"I only have two weeks, maybe three,"

"But summer holidays last until February," He said, looking at her.

"Yeah but I'm on kind of a specialized course. I think we have a month off, but I have to study for some of that time."

He smiled and shook his head.

"You should buy the tickets soon before they get expensive. Otherwise I'll have to get my wealthy Venezuelan relatives to pay for it and you'd have to marry one of my cousins."

"A wealthy Spanish husband _and _a free trip to Brazil? Done!"

The trail they were on ran in a wonky circle around a few subdivisions, and before either of them realized it, the sky was getting dark and they had walked around three times. DA felt her heart beating lightly, she had let herself forget about everything for the past hour or so, everything seemed so normal she could literally explode. She felt better that day, and she knew that sulking or overthinking this would do nobody any good. She had resolved while Carlos was in Venezuela that she would put it behind her, and it was surprisingly easy to accomplish.

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><p>7. UP WE GO - LIGHTS (3)<p>

"What do you want to be when you graduate?" Carlos asked her.

DA and Carlos were laying on a blanket in the same field as usual. It was nearing the end of summer, soon they'd begin grade 12. DA was tired of summer. She was tired of Walkerville. She was tired of her job. She was tired of her life.

"An astronaut."

"You've already done that," He nudged her.

She tried to smile. "I want to see what's on other planets. I want to see the universe, you know? I feel trapped here."

"Where? Like, earth?"

She shrugged, "Yeah. Sometimes. Don't you?"

DA could feel him looking at her. They didn't usually talk too much when they looked at the stars. They didn't do too much other than just exist. Carlos had spent a lot of time with his girlfriend this summer, this was only the third time they'd been able to stargaze. She had spent a lot of time at work, the children's museum where she worked in the space section, doing star presentations up to six times a day.

Then they were going to university next, next year. Probably she didn't know what Carlos was doing, but her parents had made it clear what she was doing. If they were going to pay, DA wasn't going to say no. She was confused about everything and scared. She hadn't seen much of any of her friends, they were all busy with lives and girlfriends or boyfriends. Phoebe was away all summer as a camp counsellor and Wanda was in China with her family for six weeks. Keesha was working more than DA, and DA didn't really hang out with Ralphie that much anymore, certainly not one on one.

"Hey," Carlos said softly, "Are you okay?"

Stargazing sessions nearly always ended with DA in tears – thinking about life and the purpose of everything made her emotional enough. She cried a lot that night. She curled up next to him and she felt safe. It wasn't romantic. It wasn't flirtatious. It was pure, needed, totally encompassing friendship that only made DA cry more. The past year, the past few months, they'd all been extremely hard for her but as she cried into Carlos' shoulder surrounded by stars and crickets, DA began to feel slightly better – if only for the night.

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><p>8. I WANNA HAVE YOUR BABIES - NATASHA BEDINGFIELD (1)<p>

The sixth grade girls were dancing around Wanda's bedroom in their pajamas. They'd spent the evening reading magazines, talking about all the boys in their classes, deciding on future husbands and the names of their babies. They talked about periods – DA and Keesha had already gotten their periods and they were telling Wanda and Pheebs all about it.

"DA you should die a red streak in your hair!" Wanda said,

"Why?"

"So Carlos knows you can have his babies now!" The girls all squealed with laughter.

"Ew!" Phoebe tossed a magazine at Wanda. "That's gross!"

"No, No! He would totally notice." Keesha nodded. "He'd think it was so pretty."

"You want to have babies with _Carlos_!?" Phoebe laughed.

"Yeah! He's so cute, Pheebs. Imagine our cute little babies!" DA clasped her hands together. "They'd speak Spanish _and _Portuguese, he could teach them.

"But you have to have," Pheebs covered her mouth and whispered, "_Sex_!"

All the girls shrieked again and DA started laughing, "No I don't! Ew! Pheebs no!" DA shivered, "Eww. No, I just want his babies. Not … _that_. Gross."

"He keeps like making fun of Wanda, though," Keesha said, "You have to like … do something so he starts liking you."

"What?" DA turned to Wanda, jealousy surging.

"He doesn't _like_ like me! He's gross, DA, and he thinks he's so great. I don't know why you like him."

"He's not mean, lots of girls like him," Keesha defended him. "I think he'll be so cute when he gets older, like imagine him in grade _eight_! I bet he'll be so tall."

The girls started laughing. "You can have his babies too, Keesh," DA said, "Our babies would be sisters!"

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><p>9. BRAND NEW SHOES - SHE &amp; HIM (9)<p>

DA had been in tears almost every night. She was so confused. She liked Carlos so much, but she didn't like … _this_. Being with him. Well, she liked it. It was just so new, she wasn't used to it. He kept telling her how pretty she was, he was just so _nice_ all the time. She didn't know what do to. Their sex was great, but she could never enjoy it properly because she was so worried about him seeing her body. School was stressing her out, it was her final year, she had to focus! Her family was stressing her out. Her body was stressing her out. Life was happening again. Things were different with him now … but not really?

She didn't understand why she was so sad about everything.

Carlos was a fantastic boyfriend. It was just like being the friends they always were but now they got to kiss. He got to hold her hand in public, something he said he'd always wanted to do. He even took her on dates. She loved being with him, it was so comfortable, and sometimes she was really _really_ happy. But sometimes she didn't want him to look at her. They spent a fair bit of time naked and close and she was sure he was going to start noticing everything wrong with her very average body. He was _so_ good looking, so popular, so fun. She knew other girls were into him.

Whenever she slept in her own bed she would cry. It wasn't him. She was stressed about school as always, she was worried about jobs and grants and what she was going to do next year. They'd only been at school three weeks and she couldn't handle life stuff mixing with dude stuff (to quote Liz Lemon)

So when she sat at Carlos' desk in his room trying to study while Carlos lay on his bed gazing at her, she couldn't think of anything else to say when he told her she was beautiful. DA sighed, annoyed, "I think we should break up."

Carlos froze.

DA shut her laptop and he didn't move.

"W-what?"

She shook her head. All she could do was shrug. "I can't do this. Sorry."

The second she left his dorm room DA burst into tears. She didn't stop crying all night, Pheebs came and she cried to her and she felt like nothing would ever be right in the world again.

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><p>10. LONELY GIRL - OCEANLAB (10)<p>

Carlos was home for winter holidays with a heavy heart. He was starting to get back to normal since DA had dumped him October. It was easier at school, it was their last year of university and there was plenty to distract himself with. The only time he thought about her in a miserable way was when he was alone, so he tried not to be alone. He had activities, friends, he still lived in the dorms as the most popular RA ever, there was always somebody coming to him with some sort of issue.

Being home was different. DA was just down the street. This time last year they were in Brazil. She was visiting him while on her holidays from her co-op in Chile. That had been an incredible December. They'd _finally_ officially, emotionally gotten together. It took a while. 21 and a half years. It took a lot. There was a lot of putting himself out and saying how he felt and miraculously, it was reciprocated. They'd had a perfect Christmas and New Year's together. They were finally together. And it was everything he had wanted and expected. They hadn't made it a year. 10 months.

Even when she went back to Chile they were together. Then in the summer they travelled up north and it was like Australia all over again except they actually got to kiss instead of just flirting.

He sighed, tossing a ball of socks into the air on his bed. He hadn't texted her in a while. They had managed to be semi-normal. It wasn't hard not to see each other at school. He wanted her to be next to him right now, they could talk about school or her parents, or anything.

Carlos groaned and covered his face. He was so pathetic.

He was just lonely. He was hug lonely. He was smile lonely. He was touch lonely. He was talk lonely. He was DA lonely.

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><p>I wrote these all in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep, but I'd still looooove to know if you read them and what you think!<p> 


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